Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My crush crushed with such knack!!

He knew some magic he knew some charm
Out of so many varied tricks he knew
My life's magician mastered this one too

He had a particular knack for this kind of cheat
No devil could replace him from the top seat
He showed such unmatchable skill for that feat

By the time i realized
my crush had shifted gears

My prolonged longings
had become ever flowing tears
All i was left with were
a baby and all the worldly fears


My mind refused to work
my heart still facing quiver
My feelings succumbed to death
my soul died of an unknown fever

Tears roll down my life
Emotions flood my world
Feelings long evaporated
leaving behind a life so curled

No one can find my trust now
none i believe anymore
You squeezed my sweetness
leaving behind a life so sore


Smiles faded
Heart shivered
Memories haunted
Happiness crumpled
Relationship cheated
Sentiments crushed
Thoughts troubled
Spirit dissolved
Tears befriend

--sudharm baxi

Though a sad piece, but i am happy that i compiled this. Another of 3WW, the three words to be used were Crush, Knack and Varied.

36 comments:

ThomG said...

This had such an interesting flow, much feeling. Thanks for sharing.

sudharm baxi said...

my pleasure ThomG,

And thank you for dropping by..

anthonynorth said...

Nicely done, going through so many styles, but Thom's right - it flows nicely.

Neverending Story said...

Feelings long evaporated
leaving behind a life so curled - very vivid image here. Sad poem.

gautami tripathy said...

It has many nuances..

mainline to the heart

sudharm baxi said...

@anthony,
@neverending..,
@gautami,

Thanks a lot for dropping by and giving it a read..

Fledgling Poet said...

Such sadness, so eloquently expressed!

Witchmojo said...

Hmmm, I've known a few of those 'magicians' in my time. Nicely written.

Brosreview said...

You have not once moved an inch away from sadness. The sad feel remains throughout the piece. Good job!!! Keep writing!!!

Lucy said...

so moving!

Tumblewords: said...

Surely a moving piece - sad but often true... Nicely done!

SweetTalkingGuy said...

I like the continuity through the diferent styles, I'm sorry to hear the narrator was left holding the bsby.

Angel said...

Very sad but lovely piece.

Jeeves said...

Sad, intense :) Interesting flow.

sudharm baxi said...

Thank you all for dropping by..

And i am happy that you could sense the bits of emotions expressed, in one flow, in one entirety...

susan said...

Am I noticing a pattern here? Wasn't your last piece about heartache? Should we be worried?

sudharm baxi said...

Nay susan,

Thanks for the concern..
These poems though come out of my heart but my mind rules in all of them, so no heartache; simply plain, neat poetry with a lot of sufferings but none personal :)

Thanks again!!

niket said...

good one bro!!!


sahi mein its very sad and intense... n look somebody's writings are getting out of their teens now...

n now u have got some fan following too... but dont stop here.. its just a start... abhi to to u have to go distances...

my wishes and support are with you....
great going...

sudharm baxi said...

@niket,

Thank you very much for all that, and i can't stop if friends and well-wishers like you are by my side..

Namrata said...

U have played with words very effectively...A deep journey from fading smiles to befriending tears speaks truely of the dark and lonely feelings.....Good

sudharm baxi said...

hey Namrata,

Good to see you here...
And thanks for the words of praise!!

Ofira Sephiroth said...

Moving piece.

lissa said...

a sad tale.. I like the rhyming

sudharm baxi said...

@Ofira,
@Lissa,

Thanks !!

maglomaniac said...

Good 1 Sudharm.But sad 2 I shud say.
Which makes it even better


HARSHA

sudharm baxi said...

Hey Harsha,

Thanks for dropping by

Sadness actually widens the scope for the poet; just like a black background enhances the effects of brighter colors..

and i know you are a sadness lover too!! :)

MichaelO said...

From a musician's point of view, sadness is the power of the blues! There is an interesting narrowing architecture to this poem. I love the line "tears roll down my life"! Nicely done.

Winnie the poohi said...

Spontaneous flow! Keep it up :)

sudharm baxi said...

@Michael,
Completely agree with you..
The same goes for poets, narrators, actors and almost every artist.. Sadness portrayal has a wide spectrum to explore..

@Winnie the poohi,
Thanks for noticing..

N.S.Panwar said...

superb!!!!! nicely written..... diving into deeeeeeeee.......p emotion.

Aisi Saza deti hawa, tanhaai bhi tanha nahi.
Neendien bhi ab sone gayi, raaton ko bhi parwaah nahi.....

Lokesh said...

good .... here you played with words by not breaking the flow....enters direct in to the heart....well written....

Thanks for writing ....

sudharm baxi said...

@Naren,
Well said!!

@Lokesh,
Thanks for the complement..

Viji said...

tat's what i would call a wonderful flow laced with sadness... beautiful piece sudharm... loved it :)

sudharm baxi said...

@Viji,

Thanks for noticing!!

maglomaniac said...

And last para z jst mind blowing.
Want to read more of you.
Was searching for your clown's poem dat you wrote.

sudharm baxi said...

@Harsha,
Thank you, you are the first who pin-pointed the beauty of the last stanza.
And you can find the clown poem at -
Weeping Clown