I went to the bar
and sat on a chair
on being asked
I replied unaware
Enough of intoxicating my mind
Please STOP!!!
Don't offer me more..
I have spoiled myself already enough
If you really wanna help
gimme something to intoxicate my soul
Instead of the bottled
let me taste my own spirit
Keep me away from whisky
and let me be a little more risky
Enough of momentary pleasures
Give me a pleasure that lasts
No more i wish to get smashed
nor find any pride in getting zonked
In fact
no more reasons i find to be proud
no more i wish to lead the crowd
All my ambitions
have rested in this ocean
the ocean that was always within
but always ignored
Ocean that always remained unexplored
But not anymore
Not anymore
i wish to be a part of the herd
Not anymore
i wish to be an enclosed bird
Open up my cage and let me fly
Let me measure boundaries of the sky
No more i want colored drugs to try
No more i wish to experience a high
All i wish is to be lofted
lofted into the eternity
lofted into the divine serenity
This is not some drunkard
speaking after a couple of shots,
not someone who has had that in lots, but
someone who has drank a part of his spirit,
someone who doesn't shout at life - "I've gotit!", but
someone who has seen life in its entirety,
someone who has tasted the sweetness of spirituality
--sudharm baxi
Another prose, i know, but could not help;
thanks for bearing with me and giving it a read..
I am back!!
-
It's been long since i have gone missing from the blogworld. But i am back
and back with a bang.
11 years ago
9 comments:
Glad to read that you know it is more prose-like.
You could polish this though. I mean I see honesty in expression here. And, that is very very good.
So, I shall write that you could get back to this one after a couple of months and you'll yourself figure out what I mean.
Keep writing!!!
Hey Ajey,
Glad that you liked it, even though it was a piece of prose and you don't really like prose.
And with sincere intent i did not polish it because i wanted the piece to carry that rustiness and convey a sense of innocence..
But for sure i would pay heed to your advice..
Thanks again for dropping by..
@sudharm baxi - No, I like prose-style as well mate. I have a few songs which are on the same style. So, don't misunderstand my comment.
Yea, I figured it out that the innocence or reality is conveyed via the style you've chosen to write this one in.
Keep writing!!!
Ajey,
Sincere feedback like yours, is a rare thing to see in this world. Keep commenting and hence motivating the new mates like me..
And i won't comment on the reality thing because many people would be keeping an eye on this piece if it is a personal discovery..So no commenting and thanks a bunch for everything..
Bro
I see no innocense of a rookey or a person who is just trien to put down his feeling on the paper,on the contrary i see a pro. really gettin beter day ba day.
May be my comprehension is not as great but to me u r simply genius in writin buddy.
Carry on......
Gaurav.
hey Gaurav,
Thanks for such generous words, trying my best to give a sincere effort every time that's it..
Here you go with adding some new styles in your writing ...
well written.....
thanks for writing
hey...man
I can't comment on your writing skills...becoz now they are getting awesme and beyond my horizon of thinking.
u had written in ur last para.. " This is not sme drunkard speaking after a couple of shots"...but wht I feel..that these are the only feeling when man has cme down couple of shots(neat)...becoz at that time he is living for himself ....he is thinking for his peace...his soul's peace....many a times he cried...becoz he feels what he portrayed before this world..is not his innerself ..bt the picture which this world wants....
We people dont have choice to think that what we(our soul) really wanted from this life.....
for what we are running for....
what are our goals......
So, all the questions will remain unanswered and The inner ocean will always remain unexplored....
rest...u hav jotted down the feelings as such...truly appreciable....
Thanx...for giving me a thought to think....
@Lokesh,
thank you..
@manoj,
i am glad that my piece made you think for a change, just kidding..
thanks for dropping by..
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