Friday, March 20, 2009

a friend indeed!!

Inspired by a beautiful painting of 'a boy and his horse' by Deano on EPTAS -

'a friend in need
is a friend indeed'
is something we read
where ever we lead

but why look for deed
break into this creed
a friend is a friend
and not a piece of need

don't pay any heed
who is in the lead
sow that love seed
and pluck envy weed

we have been freed
of all kinds of greed
we have been freed
coz we are same breed

in wartime you are a steed*
for enemies you are a gleed**
making those fiends bleed
by being my armour n shield

you are my daily feed
God this is what i plead
let me keep this meed***
for which i write n read


*steed - A horse, especially a spirited one.
**gleed - A glowing coal; an ember.
***meed - A merited gift


Someone knows a name for such a poem?
One with similar ending sounds all throughout..

--sudharm baxi

12 comments:

niket said...

ab iske liye kya kahu....

the way u played with words is awesome...
good writing indeed!!!

Dave King said...

My guess would be rhyming quatrains - don't know any other. Thanks for posting it though.

Pretty Me!! said...

Its a monorhyme basically !! and i realy loved it :D

sudharm baxi said...

@niket,
Shukriya

@Dave, Pretty Me,
Thanks for dropping by and telling me the names, let us call it -

MONORHYMING QUATRAINS!!

Lokesh said...

well written wid a good flow of words.....very nice dude

sudharm baxi said...

@Lokesh,

Your words really help me do better, thanks for the same..

James Parker said...

Delightful piece, Sudharm. And I wanted to thank you for your heartwarming comments on EPTAS. Keep up the good work.

sudharm baxi said...

@James,

Your words are always inspiring, thanks for the same..

Brosreview said...

Overdose of rhyming there. I mean, I get the message, but it is on top of the line, on many occasions, frankly.

Hope I am not offending you. Please alert me if I am, okay.

As far as names go, Pretty Me is right.

sudharm baxi said...

@Brosreview,

How can i be offended by your suggestions? they are words of wisdom sincerely..

This one piece, in particular i wrote keeping in mind that i have to create something with similar ending sentences throughout the poem, and i agree it became too much an effort that it lost its beauty midway somewhere..

An attempt at something new, part of experimentation you see(i hate to use technical words when it comes to poetry, but could not help).

Thanks again..

Amias said...

Pretty Me!!! is right, it is a monorhyme, simple and delightful ...

"don't pay any heed
who is in the lead
sow that love seed
and pluck envy weed"


This is by far my favorite stanza ... how true.

sudharm baxi said...

Amias,

Glad that you liked it..