Buried all the differences
Wanted to start everything new..
Reached the party
when the people were so few..
The diamond necklace on that
stunning black dress..
Beautifying the beauty as if
a dove in a cloudy mess..
Mustering courage
with the hope of a new dawn..
Buttoning the suit
i was even willing to fawn..
But my eyes signaled
something else to my mind..
She was with someone who
certainly was not her kind..
Sam - the flirt,
is what he was famously called..
The dude with the
French beard and a shaven bald..
She looked happy and
she looked calm..
She looked content and
still carried her charm..
My colors faded
faster than i thought..
I blamed myself for
the lost jewel i sought..
I was still sipping the un-cherished agony
when she approached with a glass of wine..
Told me about her ploy to open my eyes, cleared
the clouds of lies with her lightening shine..
My heart beats paced, before
the heart could sublime..
Mind was still furious but the heart pounced
with joy stating - She is still mine..
--sudharm baxi
Thanks 3WW, the inspiration for this conventional poem, the three words were - Flirt, Ploy and Stunning.
I am back!!
-
It's been long since i have gone missing from the blogworld. But i am back
and back with a bang.
11 years ago
36 comments:
A tricky moment nicely told.
What man doesn't think like this on occasion? Nicely told.
that's a beautiful narration.. what a poetry!! the curtain rises, play enacted and with a flourish the curtain came down :)
awesome sudharm
I think it's nice to get that look into his thinking. Even though it's not a super long piece you did great at putting us right there with him.
A well-told story - a good read!
Honestly, a neatly told story!!! Good job!!!
Neat story, love the name - Sam the flirt!
Nice one :)
@anthonynorth,
Thank you.
@ThomG,
Is it? i feel men think more on such occasions :)
@Viji,
Thank you for the lovely words.
@Shradha,
It still takes guts to drop by, thanks!!
@gigidiaz,
Glad that you could visualize.
@Tumblewords,
Thank you.
@Ajey,
Wished a little more from you.
@Sweettalkingguy,
yeah, that sounds a flirt, isn't it?
@Jeeves,
Thanks.
Superb work bro!!!!!!!!
It was more then just good
it was a bful momrnt caught perfectely in words.
Great job bro
as always............
Gaurav
mind blowing ......superb..
Thanks for writng
wonderful wonderful poem !!! just a request .. maybe breaking the pattern of poem is not that a bad idea.. not a good one too !! :)
@Gaurav,
@Lokesh,
Thanks
@Pretty Me,
Agreed. I maintained the flow in the complete piece but at the end, tried stuffing so much in so less and hence had to break the flow a little, but gonna work on it again right away..thanks for suggesting.
Refurbished last few stanzas..
see.. it was really not difficult ;) !! perfect now !!
and thanks for accepting my request .. glad u did not mind it .. u r always welcome to provide suggestions to me !
@Pretty Me,
What was there to mind, anyways heart rules when it comes to poetry..
Suggestions are always welcome, thanks a bunch again!!
sweet rhyming and I like that it's like a tale with a happy ending
@lissa,
Here in India, we generally prefer happy endings and same goes for this poem.
Thanks for dropping by..
joy found in the last line!
Is the chase so grand? I like the story you told with your poem.
Thanks for stopping by my site. Glad to find yours and discover all your experiments with form and inspiration.
She is still yours.
Wonderful.
And man she will be yours alwaz.
Just dont let your head come in between your heart atleast when love is concerned.
And man its raining comments.Again wonderful
Who is she?Nice one anyway.Chk out the one on my blog now....it's ghostly.
@quin,
Happy ending you see..
@Shradha,
haha, don't really agree.
@AdellBeek,
The chase is always grand when the matters concern love :)
@Mairi,
Glad that you liked it.
@Harsha,
Thank you man, good that you liked it and can't really help with the head thing, it always puts me into trouble just to suggest ways of getting out.
@deeptesh,
Can't really tell. ;)
Thank you.
The emotion is there, I felt it:-)
Guess she opened his eyes good. Very well done.
You used the prompt very well here... nice to read that :)
I'm still enjoying my vacation. Spent sometime in writing this story. want you to read it and tell me how it is. Hope you like it.
Mistake: A Scary reason @ Thus Wrote Tan!
@Angel,
Thanks..
@Tan
Thank you.. and straight away coming over to read your piece.
It's nice how I am on the narrator's side near the end and almost cheered when he won.
@Meena,
Glad that you could relate to the piece...
Beautifying the beauty as if
a dove in a cloudy mess...
good work!! no.. great work!!
@niket,
Glad that you liked it, thanks for dropping by..
joy found in the last line!
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