Friday, March 13, 2009

Ohh son!!

Oh God i always loved exploration
but not like this..

I wished to admire him
but not like this..

I wanted him to be strong
but not like this

From where my son you gathered such courage
you even feared a tiny spider at an early age

They said better
don't have a look at the body
but your mother was adamant
she felt what greater pain can there be
than knowing it was her son lying there

She picked up the cloth
and my heart freezed

Is it you my son
Ohh son!! is it you

How in a father's life it could be tough
to recognize his own son

How much you cared of your physique
how wakeful you appeared even being asleep
Ohh son!! look at you now

You had duties towards the land
but what about your mom and dad

Nothing moved you
Neither your mother's cries
nor my umpteen terrified sighs

She applied herbs and creams
to prevent you from pimples
but could not stop those bullets
from hitting your temples

How much your mother was
worried of your complexion and now

looking at your blood smeared face
is mad at your job selection

Yes you were the one who
told her it is just another job

You were the one who
amused her everytime sensing a sob

Now son tell me

whose departure is going to make her cry
Tell me son

who is going to offer me a scotch to try

Your birth was that one moment
for which i could gamble my whole life

You were my medal my sense of pride
and you were the one who could calm my inner strife

Ohh son!! where have you gone
leaving us all alone
in this so called post war zone...

--sudharm baxi


Vipul Shrimal said...

This one is the best of all till now .
What a creation !!!!!!!!!1
Hats off to you

Jeeves said...

Very nice one.

Lokesh said...

In this poem we are able to see the feelings of a father whose son give up his life for his motherland. For father this moment is a mixture of great pain and proud and this is shown in this poem so truly .

gr8 ...........

sudharm baxi said...

@ Vipul, Jeeves,

Thanks a lot for dropping by..

@ Lokesh,
Very true, the amalgamated feeling of pain and pride is what keeps the family of the martyr going!!

Debashish Mukherjee said...

One of the best poem i have seen from you..keep it coming dude...!!!

James Parker said...

I am shedding tears while writing is beautiful beyond description. I will come back many times and revisit this. And your other works. I was surprised when I saw I was not on your follower list. I am now. Sudharm, thank you so much for your comment on allowed me to incorporate 10 "blog hugs" into one piece. And, while I'm here, I invite you to take a couple of photos of some cute kids in India and submit them to Windows to the Words Photo. Once again, a beautiful and moving piece.

sudharm baxi said...

@ Deba

Thanks man!!

@ James

Thanks a lot for dropping by and all the kind words, i too adore and admire your works immensely.

thanks again and i would sincerely look into what you have mentioned.

niket said...

Really boss soul touching lines!!..

Patriotic man and a father to a soldier son... neither want to looose motherland nor his son...

You poured the hearts of those who lost their son in WARS throughout the history...

This is the truth which will never change ever after thousand years from now... the father flet this and continue to feel the same...

niket said...

Well baxi..... a great writer in making.... waiting for the day when u will dedicate a book to me..... hahhahaha

sudharm baxi said...

thanks a lot for the kind words..

Tumblewords: said...

Nicely done - people tend to forget the families broken by war. Good reminder - well written

sudharm baxi said...

Families are infact devastated, but the feeling of pride keeps them alive.

Thanks for dropping by..

manoj chhangani said...

man...this is truly awesme...really touched my heart....

what a mother feels....cannot be imagined but..your effort was truly appreciable

sudharm baxi said...


True, words can never convey the feelings, the pain inflicted upon..

Brosreview said...

Well done!!! This is quite emotional mate. It is great to know someone else thinks along the same lines too.

Great sentiments pouring out of this great piece. I love the simplicity in structure and lines as well. You have not even attempted to stick by the rules of poetry. And, in that attempt you have successfully managed to let your feelings out so well. Cheers to you!!!

I write so as I have come across numerous ones who get so carried away by abiding by rules and regulations that they completely compromise on feelings, the very essence of poetry.

Keep writing!!!

On that note, check out my song, "My forgotten heroes". It is on the same lines as this one, sort of.

sudharm baxi said...

Too be frank Ajey,

I don't actually know poetry rules, just one thing i know that my poems should convey my feelings as rhymingly as possible and not at be blamed verbose..

But i am learning various poetry styles just to be more technically sound (again the word 'technically' can't actually convey my exact expressions).

Thanks for all..

sudharm baxi said...
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