Victory is what i crave for
Victory is what i can kill for
Indeed for victory i can die for
Describing victory is not a child's play
it's not like building castles with wet clay
It is the net outcome of
a wholesome effort
and never-say-die spirit
at every step of the
extraordinarily initiated feat
It is the profound pride that follow
It is the joy that fills the hollow
But there are stories behind
the medal glory and pride curtain
about the life so left out and uncertain
torn wings*
broken limbs
crying mothers
weeping kids
open wounds
closed lids**
dependent life
mourning wife
Past gracious glory is now
nothing but an unending story
Not told to boast off or brag about
but just to re-live that daring life
and savor all those tiny bits of the
praise bestowed for the winning strife
.
.
.
* spirit/ambition
** lesser options in life
Thanks to the 'Winged Victory' photo at EPTAS for inspiration..
--sudharm baxi
I am back!!
-
It's been long since i have gone missing from the blogworld. But i am back
and back with a bang.
11 years ago
14 comments:
Inspiring and intriguing. You are a master at probing the depths of meaning.
This was rich with emotion and meaning...powerful!
@James,
@Fledgling poet,
Thanks a bunch for dropping by..
Powerful words - yes, there is always a price.
Well said.
@anthony,
Thanks and so true, a victory certainly leaves a lot of prices to be paid and that too not only by the victor..
Powerful piece packed with meaning!
'But there are stories behind
the medal glory and pride curtain'
Really love that.
I think perhaps the wisdom that comes with experience shines through this piece.
@Tumblewords,
@Julia,
@SweetTalkingGuy,
Thanks a lot for all the kind words..
the lines in red and the words that followed.. just too good !!
@Pretty Me,
Tried my best to be as concise as possible and hence those words in red..
thanks for noticing..
Quite prose-like, isn't it? Not that it's bad. I am just writing my observations.
Some changes, if I may:
remove the word "the" wet clay. That does not sound right to me.
And, use capital "I" instead of "i". I don't know about others but I infer something different from small letters. You will figure that out when you read my songs.
I like how you have added a few of your job lingo to this piece: "net outcome".
Good job!!! But, you can make this better!!!
@Brosreview,
Great that you reviewed the piece..
REally no one has done that before ever..Loved your suggestion and gonna implement them right away.
Can't actually change the 'i' though because - this exudes the fact that i have shed my ego entirely, that i don't even use a capital 'I',
But one thing i would certainly keep in mind that if i write on someone else's behalf or perspective i should use an 'I' instead..
Thanks a lot..
The experience that is life comes through..
mainline to the heart
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